Suicide Prevention – Quick Guide For Loved Ones

“I may as well just end it!”

"I want to go to sleep and never wake up,"

"I feel so low, I can't go on like this"

Those are words no one ever wants to hear coming from another person, especially when the person is a loved one. What you do next will be as important as the actions of any health professional so don't think that you're going to be sitting on the sidelines doing nothing, because in fact you will be doing something even if you don't realise that you are.

This is a general guide on how best to cope/react when you hear those dreaded words.

What to do:

Ask them straight out in a clear, calm manner “Are you considering suicide?” This may seem strange but if they're not considering suicide, they will just dismiss the idea. If they are considering suicide, they'll probably be relieved that someone has noticed their emotional distress and desperation.
Advise them that there is professional help available and they won't be locked away. This is a major fear of those suffering from suicidal thoughts, despite the opposite being true in the majority of cases. Offer to go with them to any appointments if they are still nervous.
Allow the person to talk about their feelings. Listen without judgement. Try and ask more open ended questions to allow expansion and exploration of answers. Sometimes the simple act of offloading the emotions or verbally exploring answers can be helpful.
What is it they do best? Compliment them on the things they do well. If they haven't done something they do well for a while, offer to help them get back into it.
Do not underestimate the power of a warm and meaningful hug and a ready shoulder for the person to cry on.
Offer any help that you're able to give like lifts to therapy sessions or even going shopping with them.
Take each day as it comes. Some days will be better than others for the person. Some degree of flexibility will be required in case plans change.

What not to do:

Dismiss it. When someone admits to intent/feelings of suicide, they are more often than not being serious about it. Dismissing it will only reinforce any feelings of worthlessness.
Try to offer solutions or advice. One person's molehill will be another's mountain. Giving advice or answers will make the person feel debilitated and even more useless than they probably already feel.
Tell them to “get over it”. This doesn't do anything and will just make matters worse.
Panic. Never a good thing at any time and will only further upset the already uoset and vulnerable person.
Overcrowd the person. Let the person have their own space to breathe and heal.
Think that it's your fault. This false guilt will only rub off on the person and make them feel worse.
Set unrealisitic recovery goals. This will just set the person up for a fall and may end up undoing all the work that has been done previously.

It isn't easy to recover from a suicidal depression. There will be ups and downs during the recovery but with a lot of love and support from you and others, as well as counselling style treatments, it is possible for a person to recover from suicidal depression.

In case you're scoffing at the last sentence I, Carnas, have been in that horrible abyss of suicidal thoughts. Without the loving support of my friends and family, I wouldn't be here today, living, loving, enjoying life.